Opinion
OPINION: Unsung heroes: In praise of gentle fathers
Brynn Carnesecca | Lehi Free Press
My first memories of my dad are some of the most beautiful moments of my life. Singing along to “High School Musical 2,” playing princess dress-up for hours on end, and doing Barbie fashion shows were all the norm at my house. From the time I was little, my dad has always been the most gentle man I’ve ever met.
Too often, I believe we portray fatherhood as something that needs to be harsh. Whether it’s strict discipline or a dad who refuses to cry, the expectations we put on father figures can be suffocating. I think gentleness is a different kind of strength. It’s not harsh or in-your-face. Instead, gentle dads work day after day to build trust with their family and community.
If you know my dad, Chad, you know that he is one of the kindest and softest dads out there. When I competed at Miss Utah, he was on the edge of his seat, hoping each moment went well (Rumor has it he had to step out of the auditorium because he got so nervous!). In high school, he wanted to come prom dress shopping, and he was a little bummed when he wasn’t invited on my sister and I’s Bath & Body Works trips. He has never, ever been afraid of his emotions.
And I love it.
To me, his softness is not a sign of weakness or of fear. He is beyond capable in every way. On the weekends, you can find him hunting in the woods, fishing, boating, and doing all things outdoorsy. The way he can simultaneously be a strong man while still possessing the capacity for empathy and softness is something I am so thankful to have grown up with. Whenever my dad is in the room, I know he will bring a warmth into it that cannot be found anywhere else.
His gentleness has without a doubt spread to my brothers. The youngest, Ethan, at 14 has become one of the kindest and most caring young boys I have ever met. He cries in movies and loves to give hugs to me and my sister. Everything about him came from my dad’s kind-hearted energy. My two older brothers have also become so much like my dad. They have his caring attitude and love to spend time with their families.
Outside of immediate family members, gentle father figures can mean the world. Although I have never met any of my grandfathers, I have many older men in my life who have been nothing but kind to me. Whether it is a text of congratulations or a birthday wish on Facebook, their kindness does not go unnoticed. Some of my most influential teachers, who I still respect and revere to this day, were kind and patient fathers. Even now, my therapist is a gentle father figure.
Wherever I go, it is not loud and angry men who have shaped my life. It is those who love with strength and fight for peace. There can be so many angry voices going on in the media and online, but the men that I love most are the ones who intentionally choose to be gentle.
So, to all gentle fathers and father figures, my own dad included, thank you. Thank you for going to our piano recitals, for holding us when we have nightmares, for planting flowers in the yard, for celebrating our accomplishments, for protecting us as we grow, for making our homes safe and for influencing us in and out of the home. You are the unsung heroes. You are the ones who will shape the future for the better.
