Local News
Family violence rears its ugly head at the holidays
Megan Wallgren | Lehi Free Press
The holiday season is a time of fun, family, service and gifts when Christmas wishes can come true. Unfortunately, there’s a flip side to the holiday cheer that permeates the community. The holidays can put a lot of pressure on people and relationships. In some cases, family gatherings become family fights that can turn into family violence.
“Unfortunately, this time of the year it is common to see a bump in the numbers we get,” said Sgt. Spencer Cannon with the Utah County Sheriff’s Office. “It’s a rare day that goes by that we don’t see a domestic violence or family-related call.”
Janelle Christensen, executive director of Family Haven, a charity that helps struggling families, said, “When you are already struggling, holidays are not necessarily a time that is exciting and joyful. It can add a lot more stress and pressure that can bubble over into behavior you wouldn’t normally see from people. When your stress levels are so high, it can often just be a minor setback that can make everything spill over.”
Alcohol consumption often goes up around the holidays, and Cannon said this can also contribute to an increase in family conflict.
“Alcohol is a common occurrence with domestic violence calls. The first thing to go when you are under the influence is your judgment,” he said.
Calls related to domestic violence or family conflict take up a significant portion of law enforcement’s time. From January through November, law enforcement officers from Lehi, American Fork and the Utah County Sheriff’s Office went out on over 1,250 domestic violence-related calls. Depending on the results of the call, officers spend at least two and up to 30-plus man hours on the case, according to Cannon.
Beyond the initial call, officers and victim’s advocates spend time taking offenders to jail, processing paperwork, helping victims find needed services and file protective orders, and going through court proceedings. “It’s a lot of time involved. When you start adding the number, it’s going to get into high numbers fairly quickly,” said Cannon.
Christensen said managing holiday expectations is vital to keeping family problems from intensifying into domestic violence.
“Remember what kids see as holiday magic is not necessarily going to be the standards that you make for yourself,” said Christensen. “It’s important to manage your expectations and try to let go of some expectations so it doesn’t become a tipping point for people to be pushed further than they can handle. Know that there are some things you can’t control, especially when dealing with large groups of friends or extended family and kids. If you go into it managing expectations of how it is going to be, you’re going to feel a lot better about how things go.”
Family Haven provides free child care for parents struggling with emotions during the holiday season.
“If a parent is feeling like they’re in crisis or if they’re having a mental health or medical emergency, they can call and within 30 minutes we can provide care that will give the parents a needed break,” said Christensen.
Family Haven also provides counseling support for family members regardless of their ability to pay.
“When parents can take care of themselves as a person, they can take better care of their kids,” said Christensen. “When you are calm, grounded and in a better place, when there’s a difficult day or things don’t go as planned, you are more equipped to respond to that in a good way and stay grounded for yourself and your kids.”
For those experiencing domestic violence, help is available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached at 1-800-897-LINK (5465). For the Utah County Crisis Line, dial 211 or 801-691-LIFE (5433). Contact the Family Haven Crisis Respite Nursery at 801-229-1181 for help with crisis intervention or referral services for your children.
